"I Know That I Will Never Dissapoint Myself"...My Struggles With Building Friendships

Just lying here in my bed listening to this B's Me, Myself, and I on the radio. It's my favorite song by her actually. It got me to thinking, sometimes I'd rather be alone than to grow close to a friend and have to deal or struggle of the relationship going sour.

And I'm just talking about regular friendships, not relationships with men...that's another post in itself. Not going there today...

I have friends, associates, and co-workers I hang with from time to time. But I always find myself pulling away at some point with some. I'll hang out for a few weekends then I'll go back into my shell and begin doing things alone like I normally do because I know I'll never dissapoint myself.

My very best friend of about 8 years lives only 3 or 4 hours away and although we've both improved with communicating, I need to make more of an effort to visit and call more often..

I really need to work on maintaining and building relationships.

I get it. I know I'm not the type of person that has to be in a group to go to a play, a poetry reading, or the movies. But, being socially independent can have its downfalls. (Side Note: I am a bit of a punk in flying solo when it comes to happy hours or an event at a lounge/club or something like that.)

Yes, I've been hurt by close friends. But that's life right? I can't cheat myself out of lasting friendships because of a few idiots. I'm a people person. I like to talk and connect. I need to embrace that part of my personality again.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about life. Last week I had a car accident that could have ended up worse than it did. I realize that there are so many people out there that care about me. There's more to life than holding onto hurts and being bitter about the past. It's time to let go of all that and live the life that's planned for me.

Don't Call It A Comeback....

After, 3 years I'm back. Those of you that know me from that other blogging site.....it's good to be back! So umm....I guess I should call it a comeback? Hmm...I don't know....the title has a good ring to it at any rate. *shrugs*

In the past, blogging/writing/typing (whatever you want to call it) has helped me through some of the most difficult and confusing times in my life. I've ranted about injustices forced upon the "least of these", put my business "out there" about struggles and the wrong choices I've made, and have attempted to put all of my random/scatterbrained thoughts into words. Sometimes it made sense, sometimes it didn't. All in all, expressing myself in this way is therapeutic and entertaining to others and I miss that. So, that's why I'm here.

The game has changed. Everyone is a blogger now. I am not in competition with anyone out there. As a matter of fact, I loathe competition. Those that know me well will tell you that I avoid board games, Play Date events, and intense card and domino games at all costs just for that simple fact.

I could really care less if you read this, but if you are...make your presence known by leaving a comment. :-) Ok, I may be lying about the previous sentence.....most of this is for my own benefit, to express myself through words. But, the other half of me, (the one that adores attention from others) wants to send a mass text message and blimp to invite everyone here. Ok, maybe that would be a little overboard, ya think? Just relax, read and relate.

Much has changed about the way I view the world and myself so I'm not really sure which direction this blog will lead but just stick with me for the ride (will ya?).

I'm gonna take this itty bitty world by storm
And I'm just getting warm....